Stoic Rivalry
by JollyBigSis
Summary: A satirical exploration on what might happen should the "Pride" and "Scandal" semes meet. A Pride/Scandalshipping crack-fic!


This is a Pride/Scandalshipping crack-fic that it is solely for amusement purposes, so please do not go into technical details of "when, how, where and why?" because I will simply ignore you. Otherwise, I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

**Warnings**: Contains swearing, BL sexual innuendos and major OoCness!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

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><p>O-o-O-o-O<p>

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><p>"Yami!" Yami looked up at the sound of the low baritone voice that was identical to his own.<p>

"Atem!" came the surprised reply. It was followed by the sound of voices groaning simultaneously. It seems the crimson-eyed males were each accompanied by their stoic lovers.

"_You!"_ growled the two brunets as they glared contemptuously at each other.

"So, what brings you here?" Yami asked eagerly, ignoring the two alpha males duking it out with their usual game of 'who-could-out-glare-the-other-first'!

"Here" was a small discreet local coffee shop that was tucked away from the hubbub of the busy main road. It was a nice quiet place where Yami and Kaiba would like to frequent for the aromatic coffees and the occasional strawberry shortcake, the latter being a favourite of the petit duellist.

"Oh, Seto likes the Arabica coffee from this shop; he complains that nowhere else does it quite as good!" Atem replied cheerfully.

Yami grinned in response, it was the same reason for their visits to the coffee shop too. Kaiba was so finicky when it came to his coffee! The ex-spirit indicated with his hand to the empty seats next to them, he motioned for the pair to join them.

Atem, much to the chagrin of the taller males, graciously accepted.

Waving over the waitress, Atem proceeded to order two double espressos for Seto and Kaiba and a latte for himself. Yami was still toying with his beverage.

"So, how have you been, Atem?" Yami enquired when the other had settled down comfortably.

"I have been fine," Atem replied, smiling fondly at his double. "And you?" Yami hummed a positive response, so Atem turned to his alter ego's partner to ask, "And Kaiba, are you well?"

"Hn," was Kaiba's answer, though Atem wasn't sure if it really answered his question or not—not that he was a stranger to such vague responses. He grinned affectionately at the haughty man.

Vexed by his lover's brusqueness, Yami glared at Kaiba but the rude man glared back with an infuriating smirk plastered on his face. Shaking his head in defeat, Yami glanced across to the ex-pharaoh's lover and said, "How about you, Seto? I hope all's well with you."

Seto grunted a response and Yami sighed. Yes, their lovers were more alike than they would like to admit, which isn't always a good thing. He and Atem have found that out the _hard_ way. But with that said, he had hoped the conflicting pair, being out in public, would tone down their rivalry somewhat and be, at least, relatively civil to one another.

_Of course, that was just wishful thinking_.

The coffees arrived and the four either scowled or looked dotingly at each other. Yami, wanting to break the ensuing silence, volunteered some news.

"Kaiba's been really busy at work," he began excitedly. "He plans to expand KaibaCorp, so the building needs to be extended since the company is growing tremendously fast and needs to accommodate—"

"Tsk, we all know what they say about the size of one's ego being reflected in the size of buildings!" Seto scoffed. Atem elbowed him _hard_ in the ribs.

"That's rich coming from someone whose been erecting fucking pyramids!" the CEO countered scathingly.

Yami palmed his face in exasperation. It started already!

Atem, sensing the awkwardness, tried to change the subject. "So, how was your birthday last weekend, Yami? Did you have a good time? Were you spoilt rotten?"

Seto snorted at the two, obviously delusional and misinformed males, if they expect _that_ _doppelgänger_ to know the first thing about spoiling a lover. He pitied Yami immensely.

Atem was about to reproach Seto for his interruption when Kaiba hissed, "And what was that supposed to mean, jerk?"

"That you wouldn't know the first thing about giving anyone 'a good time', you cold bastard!"

"Like you would know, you frigid prick!"

"At least, I know how to be romantic and spoil my lover! On Atem's last birthday, I took him out in a yacht on the Nile. It was just the two of us." Seto's lips twitched at the corners as he recalled the memory. "It was so beautiful. We wined and dined all day, made love beneath the rays of Ra's beauty and again, under the winking blanket of stars at night . . ."

"Pffft! Is that all?" Kaiba drawled. "Well, _we_ took to the air in _my_ blimp for Yami's birthday where we duelled for hours, ate, drank and was _merry_, duelled some more before I pounded the living daylights out of the birthday boy!"

"Kaiba!" Yami protested loudly at the crude depiction of what he thought was a wonderfully romantic evening by Kaiba's standard. The "pounding" he got was most memorable and he flushed deeply at the recollection.

"Still trying to best Yami, I see? Why don't you just give it up! I'd thought you'd be humiliated enough since Yami beats you every . . . single . . . time!"

"Says the man whose got his ass owned by Kuribohs!"*

"What!" cried Seto indignantly; then turning to Atem he stated accusingly, "You told them, didn't you?"

Atem, trying to avoid eye contact with his lover, looked away. Kaiba smirked at the victory—but it was short-lived.

"At least, I didn't get my soul captured . . . not once but _twice_!" retorted the angry Egyptian, caustically.

Kaiba immediately turned to _his_ lover who looked shamefacedly guilt-ridden. "You _told_ them!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Well, the subject kind of crept up when we were discussing arch-enemies and rivals," replied Yami, scratching his nose in a sheepishly manner.

Seto snickered, "Don't worry your secret is safe with me!"

"Really? At least, I didn't have an evil corrupted father occupying my body!"

"Che, Your father _was_ evil!"

"_Step_-father!"

"Whatever, he's—"

"Oh for goodness sake! Can't the both of you stop bickering and just give it a rest already!" Yami was beginning to lose his temper. The fact that a headache was coming on was not improving his mood. Absent-mindedly rubbing his forehead, he added, "I am already tired from the lack of sleep—no thanks to you, Kaiba, for keeping me up all night with your incessant demands—I really wis—"

Then realisation dawned on him.

He had said his thoughts aloud!

_Oh, fuck!_ Yami thought as he clapped his hands over his mouth. _Please tell me_ _I did _not_ say that!_

Atem stared wide-eyed and gaping at his other self. Both knew it was a _bad_ subject to broach in front of the two warring men!

Kaiba smirked smugly at Yami's confession. He enjoyed tiring out his petit lover, albeit he loathed having it made publicly known, the comment was a compliment to him and _that_ was an achievement. He wished the proud man would acknowledge his talents more often.

"Why, thank you for the compliment, Yami!"

Yami head-butted the table. _Repeatedly_.

Not to be beaten, Seto quipped, "Well, we do it incessantly to the extent my cum eventually becomes thin and transparent!"

"_Seto!"_ two shocked voices exclaimed.

"What?" Seto shot back as he looked nonchalantly at the scandalised males. "It's true though!"

Atem blushed furiously.

Kaiba crossed his arms and snorted, "That's nothing! We do it _incessantly_ to the extent that Yami doesn't even have the chance to shi—"

"_KAIBA!" _Yami admonished. This time, both the crimson-eyed males were blushing furiously and looking _very_ uncomfortable! They were visibly squirming in their seats.

"Well, looking at your puny partner, I doubt he'd be able to last very long, not that you have the stamina anyway!"

"I'll have you know that Atem has no problem keeping up with me—"

"Which isn't very long to begin with!"

"Are you insulting me?" Seto snarled as he leant menacingly across the table.

"Are you threatening me?" returned the equally hostile man, also sporting an aggressive stance.

"I am sure Atem will agree that he's _always_ satisfied after every encounter."

"And I am sure Yami would agree that he needs a major time to recover after his _daily_ encounters!"

"Atem . . ."

"Yami . . ."

Both turned to their said lovers when silence greeted them. The seats beside them were empty.

"Shit! Look what you've done now!" Kaiba griped.

"What?! It was your fault, imbecile!" Seto growled back.

"No, it was yours, moron . . ."

. . .

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><p>~The End~<p>

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><p><span><strong>Author's Notes<strong>: Erm . . . Thoughts?

*Atem defeated Seto with his Kuriboh in a friendly duel in order to teach Seto that teamwork was more important than just strength alone. Yep, the "fur ball" RULES!


End file.
